CHAPTER V.
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is mind is greatly agitated by Calvinistic speculations—He re-examines“the Scriptures, and cordially abandons Calvinism—Hears of a greatreligious excitement in Logan county, Ky., in the spring of 1801, andstens to attend a Camp-meeting in that county—Is astonished at thewonderful religious exercises—Multitudes confess the Saviour—Returnsfrom Logan filled with religious zeal—Under his labors similar scenesoccur at Caneridge and Concord—Great excitement and religious in-terest pervade the community—Married to Elizabeth Campbell, July,1801—Great Caneridge meeting—Description of. Axsout this time my mind was continually tossed onthe waves of speculative divinity, the all-engrossingtheme of the religious community at that period.Clashing, controversial opinions were urged by the dif-ferent sects with much zeal and bad feeling. No surersion of the low state of true religion. I at that timebelieved, and taught, that mankind were so totally de-praved that they could do nothing acceptable to God,till his Spirit, by some physical, almighty, and mysteri-ous power had quickened, enlightened, and regeneratedthe heart, and thus prepared the sinner to believe inJesus for salvation. I began plainly to see, that if Goddid not perform this regenerating work im all, it mustbe because he chose to do it for some, and not for others,and that this depended on His own sovereign will andpleasure. It then required no depth of intellect to seethat this doctrine is inseparably linked with uncondi-tional election and reprobation, as taught in the West-minster Confession of Faith. They are virtually one ;and this was the reason why I admitted the decrees of BARTON W. STONE. 3l election and reprobation, having admitted the doctrineof total depravity. ‘They are inseparable. Scores of objections would continually roll across mymind against this system. These I imputed to the blas-phemous suggestions of Satan, and labored to repelthem as Satanic temptations, and not honestly to meetthem with seriptural arguments. Often when I wasaddressing the listening multitudes on the doctrine oftotal depravity, their inability to believe—and of thenecessity of the physical power of God to produce faith ;and then persuading the helpless to repent and believethe gospel, my zeal in a moment would be chilled atthe contradiction. How can they believe? How canthey repent? How can they do impossibilities? Howcan they be guilty in not domg them? Such thoughtswould almost stifle utterance, and were as mountains ©pressing me down to the shades of death. I tried torest in the common salvo of that day, i. e. the distinc-tion between natural and moral ability and inability.The pulpits were continually ringing with this doctrine ;but to my mind it ceased to be a relief; for by whatevername it be called, that inability was in the sinner, andtherefore he could not believe, nor repent, but mustbe damned. Wearied with the works and doctrinesof men, and distrustful of their mfluence, I made theBible my constant companion. I honestly, earnestly,and prayerfully sought for the truth, determined to buyit at the sacrifice of everything else. On a certain evening, when engaged in secret prayerand reading my Bible, my mind became unusually filled- with comfort and peace. I never recollect of havingbefore experienced such an ardent love and tendernessfor all mankind, and such a longing desire for their sal-vation. My mind was chained to this subject, and forsome days and nights I was almost continually prayingfor the ruined world. During this time I expressed myfeelings to a pious person, and rashly remarked, so greatis my love for sinners, that had I power I would savethem all. The person appeared to be horror-stricken,
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