CHAPTER XIII
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s Brent thought of the long struggle before him, he began to wish thatthere might be something organically wrong with him which the shockwould irritate into fatal illness. But even while he thought this he sneered athimself for the weakness. A weakness self-confessed holds the possibility ofstrength. So in a few days he rallied and took up the burden of his life again.As before he had found relief in study, now he stilled his pains andmisgivings by a strict attention to the work which his place involved. His was not an easy position for a young man. He had to go through theordeal of pastoral visits. He had to condole with old ladies who thought apreacher had nothing else to do than to listen to the recital of theirailments. He had to pray with poor and stricken families whose conditionsreminded him strongly of what his own must have been. He had to speakwords of serious admonition to girls nearly his own age, who thought itgreat fun and giggled in his face. All this must he do, nor must he slight asingle convention. No rules of conduct are so rigid as are those of aprovincial town. He who ministers to the people must learn their prejudicesand be adroit enough not to offend them or strong enough to break themdown. It was a great load to lay on the shoulders of so young a man. Buthabit is everything, and he soon fell into the ways of his office. Writing toTaylor, he said, "I am fairly harnessed now, and at work, and, although thepulling is somewhat hard, I know my way. It is wonderful how soon a manfalls into the cant of his position and learns to dole out the cut-and-driedphrases of ministerial talk like a sort of spiritual phonograph. 1 mustconfess, though, that I am rather good friends with the children who cometo my Sunday-school. My own experiences as a child are so fresh in my 73
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