XVI. FROM JANE TO MRS. GRAHAM
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ear Mother,--such if you'll allow,In _love_, not _law_, I'll call you now,--I hope you're well. I write to sayFrederick has got, besides his pay,A good appointment in the Docks;Also to thank you for the frocksAnd shoes for Baby. I, (D.V.,)Shall soon be strong. Fred goes to seaNo more. I _am_ so glad; because,Though kinder husband never was,He seems still kinder to becomeThe more he stays with me at home.When we are parted, I see plainHe's dull till he gets used againTo marriage. Do not tell him, though;I would not have him know I know,For all the world.I try to mindAll your advice; but sometimes findI do not well see how. I thoughtTo take it about dress; so boughtA gay new bonnet, gown, and shawl;But Frederick was not pleased at all;For, though he smiled, and said, 'How smart!'I feel, you know, what's in his heart.But I shall learn! I fancied longThat care in dress was very wrong,Till Frederick, in his startling way,When I began to blame, one day,The Admiral's Wife, because we hearShe spends two hours, or something near,In dressing, took her part, and saidHow all things deck themselves that wed;How birds and plants grow fine to pleaseEach other in their marriages;And how (which certainly is true--It never struck me--did it you?)Dress was, at first, Heaven's ordinance,And has much Scripture countenance.For Eliezer, we are told,Adorn'd with jewels and with goldRebecca. In the Psalms, again,How the King's Daughter dress'd! And, then,The Good Wife in the Proverbs, sheMade herself clothes of tapestry,Purple and silk: and there's much moreI had not thought about before!But Fred's so clever! Do you know,Since Baby came, he loves me so!I'm really useful, now, to Fred;And none could do so well instead.It's nice to fancy, if I died,He'd miss me from the Darling's side!Also, there's something now, you see,On which we talk, and quite agree;On which, without pride too, I canHope I'm as wise as any man.I should be happy now, if quiteSure that in _one_ thing Fred was right.But, though I trust his prayers are said,Because he goes so late to bed,I doubt his Calling. Glad to findA text adapted to his mind,--That where St. Paul, in Man and Wife,Allows a little worldly life,--He smiled, and said that he knew allSuch things as that without St. Paul!And once he said, when I with painHad got him just to read Romaine,'Men's creeds should not their hopes condemn.Who wait for heaven to come to themAre little like to go to heaven,If logic's not the devil's leaven!'I cried at such a wicked joke,And he, surprised, went out to smoke.But to judge him is not for me,Who myself sin so dreadfullyAs half to doubt if I should careTo go to heaven, and he not there.He _must_ be right; and I dare sayI shall soon understand his way.To other things, once strange, I've grownAccustom'd, nay, to like. I own'Twas long before I got well usedTo sit, while Frederick read or musedFor hours, and scarcely spoke. When he,For all that, held the door to me,Pick'd up my handkerchief, and roseTo set my chair, with other showsOf honour, such as men, 'tis true,To sweethearts and fine ladies do,It almost seem'd an unkind jest;But now I like these ways the best.They somehow make me gentle and good;And I don't mind his quiet mood.If Frederick _does_ seem dull awhile,There's Baby. You should see him smile!I'm pretty and nice to him, sweet Pet,And he will learn no better yet:Indeed, now little Johnny makesA busier time of it, and takesOur thoughts off one another more,In happy as need be, I'm sure!
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