SCENE
Morning-room in Algernon’s flat in Half-Moon Street. The room isluxuriously and artistically furnished. The sound of a piano is heardin the adjoining room.
[Lane is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music hasceased, Algernon enters.]
ALGERNON.Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?
LANE.I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir.
ALGERNON.I’m sorry for that, for your sake. I don’t play accurately—any one canplay accurately—but I play with wonderful expression. As far as thepiano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.
LANE.Yes, sir.
ALGERNON.And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the cucumbersandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?
LANE.Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]
ALGERNON.[Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh! . . . by theway, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when LordShoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles ofchampagne are entered as having been consumed.
LANE.Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.
ALGERNON.Why is it that at a bachelor’s establishment the servants invariablydrink the champagne? I ask merely for information.
LANE.I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have oftenobserved that in married households the champagne is rarely of afirst-rate brand.
ALGERNON.Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?
